finding a more authentic, playful life --- finding your story

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Willingness to Change

Change is hard. Period.

No one will deny that. 

Also listening can be hard. Period. (That's a lot of periods. Why so many Kim? My shoes feel tight today...) We are so full of our own thoughts and ideas that it's sometimes hard to separate out the static.

Improv geniuses TJ and Dave (TJ Jagodowski and Dave Pasquesi) said (one or both of them at any rate)"Listening is the willingness to change". I think that's rather profound.

Listening is the willingness to change. Hm. So. In order to truly listen, we must be willing to change. To be changed. Dang it. That's hard. We don't necessarily want to be changed. We are often comfortable where we are. I don't know about you, but sometimes to me, change seems unnecessary and like an awful lot of work. Right? Can't I just listen and stay exactly where I am, in my comfortable-I know-things-and don't-want-to-think-place?

But think about the last really great conversation you had. We are changed. We are different after time and conversation with a good friend. And even in the brief interactions of our day, if we truly listen we are changed.

This plays out on stage quite dynamically with good improvisors. Actor A says something. Actor B can ignore, sort of accept it or listen deeply and actually let it be a gift -- a mind-blowing, life-changing gift. If Actor B chooses the latter, the scene moves, flies, entertains. It looks scripted. It's fun. If Actor B ignores or only partially listens/accepts, that actor has to work really hard to create, to think, to salvage the scene. Would have just been easier to listen and be moved. Would actually be easier to just be changed.

In your next opportunity, see how willing you are to change--- i.e. listen. And then see what happens.


  1. Love this. The willingness to listen and change is a gift we give ourselves.