finding a more authentic, playful life --- finding your story

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Bah, Humbug!

Its been a tough week of tech rehearsals. Difficult to be holed up in a dark theatre for 12 hours a day, 3 days in a row. I don't do well when holed up in a dark theatre for 12 hours a day, 3 days in a row. Heavy sigh. ( I can do that now that my corset is off! Hallelujah!)

The play is A Christmas Carol. It's a Christmas play---maybe you've heard of it. This ol' dodger named Scrooge gets transformed. It's kind of a sweet story. But these long days, I tell you. It makes a Scrooge out of all of us. Bah Humbug!

But what is my point? I don't know, really -- It's been a long week, as I may have mentioned.

Wait, I remember. Maybe my point is this: just how far kindness goes. A little kindness helps us all out of our tough spots, right? Whatever they may be. Kindness is underrated. It can make or break a day.

Improv teaches it as "making your scene partner look good." When we make each other look good, we look good. And feel good! Crazy! So what does "make your scene partner look good" look life in real life?

maybe it's simply...
  • holding the door for someone
  • saying thank you
  • offering to help
  • smiling
and then maybe it goes deeper...
  • listening to what someone is truly saying to you
  • being present in the moment with your "scene" partner
  • allowing ego to dissapate for the sake of something else
  • being more patient than maybe you want to be other words...kindness.

Plato is attributed with the quote: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." I love that one and try to remember it when I don't feel like being particularly kind. We all have our own hard battles--each and every day.

Kindness. Make each other look good. It goes a long way.

I'm gonna try it my black hole.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Fake Paralegal

Years ago, shortly after moving to New York, I needed a job. God Bless. So I found myself working as a paralegal. Yes. A paralegal. A girl with no legal experience or interest really, found herself, due to the kindness of friends lies, claiming to be a paralegal. And working as one! I won't go into all the secret bathroom phone calls I made asking my friends (who got me the illicit gigs) how to do something that my resume said I knew how to do or the amount of times I fake-delayed work organizing pens or staplers, in order to spy on my coworkers so I could learn how to do exactly what it was we were supposed to be doing. No, that is not the point of this blogpost. Sorry. Another time.

The point of this blogpost is that after the initial glory and excitement of my fake career subsided and I began to really be a paralegal, skills and all, I found myself woefully unhappy.

I mean yes, this was not my dream job and I wanted to be acting or writing or artist-ing in some way that was true to whom I am, but it wasn't just that. It was something else. I was withholding.

I never told anyone I was an actor. I wasn't filled with the joy I usually am. I kept to myself. I was simply "Kim: the quiet paralegal"-- and unhappy at that.

I don't know why I was withholding. I guess I just didn't feel like sharing my whole self at this job that was not me. Does this sound like you? Is this feeling familiar? Are you in a job or career or situation that does not feel entirely like "you"? And because of that, are you withholding some or all of yourself?

One day I decided life was too short. I needed to be who I was. I started to share, to divulge, to be myself -- my actual self. And guess what? I got happy! By sharing who I was with people and being generous with my spirit, I found more contentment than I ever had. I made friends. I got a raise. I was happy. Was it my dream job? No. Do I want to do it again? Not really. But I know that no matter what the work, when I bring ALL of me to the job, for better or for worse, I am better off.

And so are you.

No reason to withhold. Share who you are! There is much to be lost if you don't.