katerinaconfident

So one of the things I'm doing down in Mexico at this crazy residency I got myself director of is to host weekly salons. The idea (stolen really from my friend Cat...who in turn stole it from...um, France, I think) is to gather artists of all stripes (including art lovers) and share works in progress, talk about art, creative process, get feedback, ask questions, engage in dialogue and drink good wine. Everyone contributes in some way.

The community of Akumal has definitely been responding. We have been filled to capacity on almost every night. The attending members are asking questions and engaging in dialogue. It's really lovely.

Last Sunday, we had a 9 year old artist share work. Katerina came with her family the previous week and asked if she could share some of her artwork at the next salon. So I said yes, wanting to support budding artists...and she was astonishing -- articulate, brave and certain. She was so certain. She said she knew someday she would be a famous artist. It was said without a smile or any type of coyness. She was simply stating a fact. When I asked where her ideas for pictures came, she said she simply followed her intuition, followed the pen, drew what felt natural. Duh. I felt stupid asking! How else would she draw? When I asked her what she learned by sharing her art, she said nothing. The better question is what we learned by seeing it. Holy crap. When I told her she should perhaps only share one more picture (after about 30!) she looked at me like I was a ridiculous, sad sack of a human being and certainly 100% wrong to cut her off. (Needless to say, I let her show a few more) :)

She made me think. When do we adults start being fearful? When does fear, uncertainty, nervousness set in? How can we all be certain like Katerina? She taught us all a lesson, I think. Me especially. I have always considered myself brave. I moved to New York! I moved to Mexico! I make surprising, sometimes crazy choices! I'm brave!

But it was her quiet confidence that I coveted. It was her certainty. I want to know things with that certainty. Do you? I feel the older I get, the more I question things. Maybe it's about trust. Maybe it's about thinking less, certainly worrying less. But I don't know. All I know is maybe we all need to be more "Katerina-confident." After all, there is no right or wrong, right? There is only what we know.

3 Days of IMPROV!

Want to apply some of the skills of improv to your life? Here's a way to spend a day! Each of these "days" can be done independently or consecutively. Choose one that inspires you and commit to it for a full day. I recommend writing it down in multiple places, sending yourself periodic reminders with your smart phone throughout the day, putting a post-it on your computer screen -- anything to help you remember this game and change your old habits.

1. spend a day saying yes
Try for one day to say YES to everything offered you. Crazy, huh? Try it. Say yes to lunch, to the phone call, to the request for help, to time with your kids, to everything that is asked or offered. Think it's possible? What could happen? Pay attention when your "no" wants to come out? "No" is always a valid option, an important one sometimes -- but is it your "go to"? Does it always need to be? IS your answer always "There isn't enough time, money, fill-in-the-blank? Is this your pattern? Is their fear or another emotion surrounding it? What might saying "yes" lead to? Make any discoveries? Don't worry tomorrow you can start saying no again. If you want...
 
2. spend a day being brave; go outside your comfort zone
On this day, do things you would not normally do: Drive a different route to work, take a walk to nowhere particular at lunch, do something that scares you a little bit, speak in front of that group, walk up to a stranger and engage in meaningful conversation, wear something different, ask for that raise, tell your spouse the truth, sign up for that class. Today is the day to be brave and take a chance. How does it feel?
 
3. spend a day listening
Today, make it a goal to TRULY listen to what people are saying around you. Be present and LISTEN. Listen not just to the words, but to the actions, to the body language, to the tone, to the mood, to the emotion, to what's not being said, to what's underneath, but yes...also to the words. Don't worry, soon enough it will be your turn to talk again, but when it's your turn to listen: pause, breathe, make eye contact with speaker and hear them fully, and then respond, and not until then. Give them space to speak their truth and be heard. How does it change your day? How does it change your conversations? How does it change YOU?

After trying a "Day" or 3...comment below with your thoughts, discoveries, questions! Happy to discuss! Play!

But remember--- remind yourself all day of your goal---or you will easily forget and revert to how you always do things!! Ok! Go!
 

Karoshi

A mini-story...

The Caribbean waves crashed on the shore near him, but he did not stop raking.  His wife was dead, but he did not stop raking. Nothing was the same, yet he did not stop raking. The oceans waves never stop, nor did his duties around the hacienda, no matter the turmoil spinning on his insides. There were expectations, after all. Every morning, he was expected to rake the sand. This is what he did and who he was.

She would say “You'll work yourself to death, Hacinto.”

She would say, “Your family misses you!”

She would say, “Please Hacinto, you are more important than any money you make.”

But he would ignore all her pleas, knowing full well how important money was in this part of the world – in any part of the world! He could not risk not being seen as a hard worker and possibly losing his job. What would happen to his family then? He could not risk it. He would not risk it.

And so it continued and year after year, his children grew, his wife conceded, and the distance between them all grew, until yesterday, unexpectedly, she died. And today, all alone, raking the same sand he has raked for 25 years, Hasinto finally stopped. He put down his rake, looked at the ocean crashing into the shore, feeling as though the waves were crashing onto his own heart and announced to no one in particular, “I am taking today off.”

“Okay,” the boss later agreed. It was that easy. Everyone trusted Hacinto and wished him nothing but good. He did not lose his job and would not lose his job. He did however lose his wife and would in fact, lose his children one day. But today, just today, none of that mattered. All that mattered was that he would stop working. For once.  For his wife. Rest assured, he would come back to work tomorrow and do exactly what he has done for the last 25 years.  But today, he went swimming all alone in the ocean, peaceful at last, thinking about his wife.

written by Kim Schultz