On being happy

So...

Recently a friend, whose name shall remain anonymous (Adrienne), posed the question to me: When are you happiest?

An interesting question.

I am happy in Mexico. Happy feeling loved by dear friends. Happy laughing. Happy by water. Happy in my new apartment. Happy while acting. Happy drinking good coffee or good beer. Happy in the ocean. Happy in one of my long 'life' conversations with my mom. Happy creating something. Happy looking at a full moon. Happy traveling. Happy on the beach. (Did I mention water?)

But happiest?

I suppose I am happiest when I am living in the present moment fully, as improv teaches, appreciating all the nuances and particulars of this time of this day. I'm happiest when I am breathing in life---like at the beach or with friends or onstage. I am not happy when I am not present. That's the truth. So check yourself: if you're not happy maybe you're not really here.

I believe the more present you are in your life, the more you create the kind of life where you are happy in that present moment. Does that make sense? You shape your moments by living in them fully. Eventually you shape more and more moments into "good" ones because nobody wants to live in sucky moments.

Right now, as I type this, the sun has set and I am sitting on a sweet balcony overlooking a beautiful plaza in Guanajuato. Yes, I am happy. But I am also aware and that makes me happy (er?). I hear the constant chopping of a food vendor across the square. I hear a late night worker hammering something a block away. I smell fresh tortillas from below. I see streetlamp shadows play on the square. I hear voices of locals and tourists walk by. I see a man with a backpack probably walking home. I feel the slight chill of the breeze against my bare legs. I hear laughter and some guy making a weird "Heh! sound. I am present. To it all. I shaped this moment. And I am happy. Right now.

Maybe even happiest.

How about you? (Adrienne wants to know...)

The Little Moments...

How true!

I just finished reading a lovely article about the importance of the small interactions in our days, the little moments which often slip by us unnoticed. Too often, we go through our commutes and coffee purchases and street bumps without so much as a boo. We are busy with our iPhones and iPods and iBuds. (is that a thing?) that we miss it. We miss everything. We miss the little moments, the little interactions, the MOMENTS that make up our days and our lives. We miss the billboard advertising what we need. We miss the child looking at us. We miss the woman who desperately needs a smile. We miss a potential new friend, the opportunity for kindness, the hello, the thank you, the... everything.

How many moments are you missing? How many did you already miss just today?

I like the idea that when you engage in the moment, you get happier.  The little moments, the little relationships are satisfying, way more satisfying than shutting down and isolating, way more satisfying than our iThings and the latest status update. When we connect with other humans, there is a mental health payoff.

Give it a try.

Talk to someone. Notice something. Be more present. Engage in your life.

And be happier.


Let me know your thoughts.

5 Ways to Bring More Play to Your Day

[written by Kim Schultz, as published on policymic!]


“We are never more fully alive, more completely ourselves, or more deeply engrossed in anything, than when we are at play.” - Charles Schaefer

Alarm. Shower. Breakfast. Kids. Kiss. Commute. Work.  Lunch. Calls. Meetings. Commute. Dinner. Family. Television. Sleep.

Sound familiar? Did you breathe? Did you laugh? Did you have fun? Or was it all work?

There is a Japanese term for working yourself to death: Karoshi. Now I’m not saying that’s what you are doing. (There certainly are people in Japan who are. After all, they coined a term.) But how much of your life is work and how much play? Seriously, right now, give me the ugly statistics. 80/20? 70/30? 98/3? (I know, I know! Math, Kim!)

But seriously, what is your life worth and what do you want out of it? More fun? More play? Yeah, me too. Weird you guys, we’re like the same person.

Play is often looked at as frivolous and unnecessary, but more and more studies are coming out touting the value of play and how play leads to happiness and ultimately more productivity and success in work and life. Shawn Achor, in his bestselling book, The Happiness Advantage, wrote, “Companies and leaders who take measures to cultivate a happy workplace will not only have more productive and efficient workers, they’ll have less absenteeism and lower health care expenditures.”

Well, that sounds good, no? He also is quoted as saying, that “every time employees experience a small burst of happiness, they get primed for creativity and innovation. They see solutions they might otherwise have missed.”

Wow! All that from play! So HOW can you bring more play to your day, you ask? Let’s look for some of those “small bursts of happiness.”

1. Surround yourself with people who play and make you happy.

Nothing like finding/creating your network of like-minded folk. We are only as happy as those around us. Find the laughers and the players.

2. Allow yourself the freedom to fail. You won’t die, I promise.

We are raised to believe failure is bad. What if you could free yourself from that fear? What might be possible for you? Where are you most afraid?

3. Turn off your devices and look, listen and connect more.

What are you missing on the subway, in the restaurant, on your walk with your face glued to your smartphone? Turn off, look up, and take in! Life is happening all around you. Enjoy it.

4. Take a risk; do something outside of your comfort zone.

I know, I know. Your comfort zone is more comfortable. But stretch yourself. What do you want to do? What could you never imagine being brave enough to do? Do it.

5. Laugh more.

This is the easiest of all. Find more in your life to laugh at. Start with a smile. It grows from there.

So next time you are tempted to accept the status quo, do what you have always done, choose the boring (a.k.a. safe) option, hide in your cell phone, hang out with people who make you unhappy and avoid any and all “small bursts of happiness,” remind yourself to play more, take a chance, look silly and laugh. Your family, friends, boss and heart will thank you. I’m off to take a statistics class now.

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” 
Ralph Waldo Emerson